THE REASONS WE STAY AND SPIRAL

“The Songs”

Let’s talk about why I fell so hard for BTS—and why the rabbit hole was less of a fall and more of a willing swan dive.

It’s ARMY engagement, for sure.

Yes, we’re infamous. One of the largest, loudest, most mobilized fanbases in the world. That’s a known fact. But it wasn’t just the numbers that intrigued me—it was the depth.

How could so many people from different countries, generations, and backgrounds be drawn to the same seven guys?

And the answer always comes back to the same thing:

The songs. And the sincerity of it. 

I started, like many did, with Dynamite—a catchy, disco-groovy serotonin booster during a global pandemic.

It brought joy. It felt light. It felt safe.

But then… I explored the discography.

And wow.

At the time I danced my way into ARMY, there were so many songs already…300+ ish songs. Not just from the official albums. 

BTS has lots of gems, waiting to be found. 

Literally hidden tracks that are only found in hard copy albums, like Path in Too Cool for School, or Sea in Love Yourself: Her (and later on the whole CD 3 of Proof album).

And then there are the SoundCloud songs, the songs that BTS gifted to ARMY. Not for the streams, but just to be listened to. And ARMY is still—let’s be honest—desperately manifesting for all the SoundCloud songs to finally make it to Spotify (Cough…, Ddaeng!)

There are the collaboration tracks. 

And then the solo projects—deep dives into their individual artistry.

Their discography is extensive and impressive. 

Their music wasn’t just fun—it was layered.

Spanning genres, bending rules, and always—always—rooted in emotion.

As someone who’s very lyric-oriented, I was floored by how thoughtful, poetic, and even philosophical their songs were. The metaphors? Outrageous. In the best way.

I mean—134340.

I learned Pluto’s new scientific name because of Bangtan.

A song about feeling discarded, forgotten, and redefining identity—and somehow, it was linked to a literal dwarf planet?

And the fact that ARMY still debates how to pronounce the title? Just peak unhinged beauty.

Whalien 52 wrecked me.

Like—hello? A real whale that sings at a different frequency and is literally unheard by others?

They turned that into a song about loneliness and being misunderstood—and somehow made it comforting?

And then there’s Trivia: Love.
A song that should come with a warning: may cause emotional philosophy crises at random intervals. Namjoon took the word “사랑” (sarang, love) and split it open like a science experiment.Trivia: Love said: “I live, so I love.” Not because it’s easy. Not because it’s transactional. But because it’s human.

And Anpanman?
Oh. My. God. Anpanman isn’t a parody of a Japanese children’s hero.
It’s a radical act of choosing to be someone’s safe place without needing to be invincible.
It’s about trying even when you’re cracked, bruised, terrified of letting people down.
It’s about falling on your face, over and over, but still running when someone calls your name.

Anpanman teaches you that being present is the most heroic thing in a world obsessed with perfection. It’s a love letter from Bangtan to ARMY—and from anyone who’s ever felt like a tired soft bread loaf but chose to show up anyway.

So yes, each and every one of BTS’ songs bring meaning to me. 

It’s art. It’s literature. It’s therapy. It’s science. All in one.

From imposter syndrome, burnout, and societal pressure, to self-worth, acceptance, and healing—their lyrics teach you things. About the world, yes. But mostly about yourself.

You learn how to accept your flaws.

You learn to value your uniqueness.

You learn, in their words, to love yourself—before trying to love anyone else.

Personality and Genuine Reciprocal Parasocial Relationships

Apart from the songs, we learn a lot about the Bangtan Boys (or the Tannies, as ARMY lovingly calls them) through their reality shows, concerts, and chaotic lives.

Watching BTS isn’t just entertainment.

It’s emotional anthropology at this point.

Talking about BTS reality shows always feels like pulling out old scrapbooks.

They rarely appeared on general Korean variety shows after their rookie days — but they made their own shows, crafted in their tone, their humor, their rawness.

And somehow, through the laughter and secondhand embarrassment, we fell in love with their personalities too.

Here’s the core lineup:

1. Run BTS — pure chaos, pure strategy, pure brotherhood.

Games. Missions. Betrayals so savage they could cause emotional whiplash.

Yet somehow, underneath the sabotage and strategic backstabbing, it’s obvious that they love each other like family (while also love destroying each other for fun.)

2. Bon Voyage — the traveling journal.

BTS gets unleashed in foreign countries. It’s the most heartwarming display of lost passport, found memories, and the universal pain of group travel logistics.

3. In The Soop — quiet healing.

Here, we saw a different side of them.

Not the performers, not the superheroes — just seven young men existing.

Cooking ramyeon. Fishing. Painting. Falling asleep mid-sentence.

It wasn’t glamorous.

It was real.

Of course, there were even earlier chaotic gems:

Rookie King, American Hustle Life, BTS Gayo — baby Bangtan days when they still had stage makeup two shades too light and dreams that felt way too big for their small broadcast sets.

And now?

We have personal solo shows too — like Run Jin, Are You Sure, Suchwita — each a reflection of their individual growth.

But that’s not the whole story.

Because we also have documentaries, guest-starred shows, and choreo videos. And from each one of those we know these seven amazing and genuine human beings. Each with their own flaws, each very much human just like us. 

Concerts. Those are other ways we get to know them. 

Their live performances are another dimension altogether.

They are sacred spaces — pulsing with joy, tears, exhaustion, and that deep, aching sense of belonging.

There are concert moments that feel almost mythological now:

— The 3rd anniversary when ARMY covered their lightsticks (ARMY Bombs) with purple film, birthing “Borahae” (I purple you) and unofficially making purple our color of faith. That was the moment Taehyung made up our spiritual meaning of purple as the last color of the rainbow “I will trust you, and love you for a long time” 

— The Wembley 2019 moment, where ARMY surprised BTS by singing Young Forever back to them. We still cry even now when we stumbled upon that moment. It was so powerful, ARMY’s Wembley singing is later became the intro of 2022’s For Youth. Just an immortal echo of love.

And then there’s the lives.

The chaotic, unpredictable, existential rollercoasters used to be known as V-Lives (and now Weverse Lives).

Watching BTS’ lives is like accepting that you’re about to witness a beautiful trainwreck —

sometimes it’s ten seconds (yes, Taehyung, we’re looking at you),

Sometimes it’s twelve hours (shoutout to Hobi who vibed solo for Sweet Dreams’ drop).

And the content variety?

Random and chaotic in the best way:

— Arts and crafts

— Mukbangs

— Lyrics breakdowns

— Karaoke sessions

— Washing dishes, folding laundries, and sleeping sessions (literally)

— Birthday parties

— Existential breakdowns

— Iconic empty chair livestreams (yes, sometimes the camera was just… left on. And we take screenshots every time!)

And ARMY?

We show up. Always.

It doesn’t matter if it’s 12 PM or 3AM.

It doesn’t matter if we’re at work, in class, or literally in labor (and yes, that’s was true story).

We show up.

Because here’s the thing:

It never felt one-sided or BTS were just “performing” at us.

The lives always felt like they were seeking us, like friends crashing each other’s space after a long day.

They don’t know our names or faces. 

But when they sit there, facing the camera,

It feels like they miss us too and just want to share their day with us.

And maybe that’s a little unhinged.

Maybe that’s a little tragic.

Maybe that’s the most beautiful, reckless kind of love:

believing in a bond that logic can’t quantify, but your heart understands completely.

Bangtan Universe

And then… 

There’s the Bangtan Universe. The cinematic universe for ARMY. 

This is the one that got me writing this post in the first place, because today BU turned a decade!

So where do I start? 

Talking about BU is like unlocking the VIP level of the BTS spiral.

It completely shook me when I first learned about it.

It started with the HYYH era —“I Need U,” “Run,” “Young Forever”—and from that point on, there was a whole narrative.

Not just vibes. A literal story woven through music videos, album notes, short films, webtoons, books, and recently a k-drama. 

It was about friendship, youth, trauma, redemption, regret, hope, and identity.

It involved time loops, fate, death, self-sacrifice, and quiet acts of love.

It wasn’t easy. It was messy and cryptic and left ARMY theorizing for years.

And that’s the thing—ARMY loved it.

Because even if we didn’t fully understand it (let’s be real, no one fully does), we felt it.

The BU haunted us.

Every MV, every lyric, every comeback—could be a clue.

It made everything feel connected.

And it gave us a way to connect to each other.

It wasn’t just music anymore.

It was mythology.

And we were part of it.

Epilogue: Still Spiraling, Still a Beautiful Journey

And now, as I’m typing this post, I find myself looking back on my time as an ARMY.
It’s only been four short years — just a fragment compared to BTS’ nearly 12-year journey from their debut.

I still spiral.
Even now, even after discovering new obsessions and new loves, even with the tannies away in the military, even as Chapter 1 quietly became Chapter 2 — I’m still here.
Still learning about BTS. About ARMY…, and myself. 

I’m ecstatic to attend J-Hope’s concert this weekend.
I already know I’ll spiral, cry, laugh, make ridiculous memories, and post an unhinged chaotic review that no one asked for. 

I am excited for Namjoon’s new collab song. 

For Seokjin’s new album “Echo” 

And I’m even more excited for the day the Tannies come back from the military.
When we celebrate not just their reunion and 12th anniversary together — but ten whole years of the “best moments in life” chapters we lived through with them.

To keep feeling alive.
To celebrate the beautiful journey that keeps going.

To remember that I belong somewhere.

To ARMY and BTS — always.
Apobangpo💜